Saturday, December 20, 2014

Abstain for your Soul, not Society.

One of the most Googled subject of all times. There is so much curiosity about it and yet our hypocrite  society behaves that a goddess embeds our wombs with a divine light and BAM! you get pregnant.  We as a society  don’t think it’s important to discuss sex. So since we don’t have the audacity to teach our kids , they look up to their friends, who in turn, turn to Google Baba for gyan. And when all fails there is always a good old xxx  to the rescue.

Sex is so much more than gratification of your physical desires. It is a celebration of a unison of  two souls who hold deep affection and respect for each other. Tell me one xxx movie that teaches you that. Unless you want a generation that is going around behaving like chimpanzees we need to sit down and talk. 

Why wait?
Premarital sex in my opinion is a big risk. Sure there are risks like Unwanted pregnancy, hepatitis and syphilis. But these are just the physiological risks.  Every time you strip naked you also expose your soul. It gets venerable and it makes attachments. If promises are broken, you can dress your body back but that scar in the soul never really heals. It makes you bitter for life. So abstain not cause the society tells you so, but abstain because your soul deserves better.

I hate the societies stand on the subject. This is against our culture, our religion but no one has the time to explain WHY. Try telling that to a rebellion teenager who is all ready to conquer the world, they will just shout you out. Equip them with all the knowledge and we can only hope that they make the right choices.Explain the emotional consequences, explain why our culture is against it,  explain why this system that has been carefully curated has worked so far. An unbiased free of fear conversation with today's generation, its the only of reaching out to them.

I was curious to  decode a social network savvy teenager mind on the subject. So when my niece had a couple of friends over for a night stay, I bribed them with pizza and in return had them fill up a little survey on premarital sex. Here are a few excerpts from the survey. P.s. am sharing  not so that we can judge them, but just so that you can get an understanding of how the generation is evolving.

Below is a temple of the survey I had them fill out. 

Thanks for being a part of this survey. Since it’s a sensitive topic, you could chose to keep your name anonymous as long as you give your honest, unbiased opinion. This questionnaire is not meant to judge you, but to get an idea of today’s youth’s thought process . Appreciate your time and honesty. Thank you.
Name :

Sex :
Your view on : Pre-marital Sex     

Your reason:

*the quotes below are in the exact form as the author left them, they haven't been altered and reflect their true opinion.

Aditya mennon, 20.
“There is no harm in premarital sex, because if you trust a person and get physical with them it doesn’t  matter”.

Nomi Bhalla , 16.
“These days it is completely depends on whom we trust and have sex with. It’s not a big issue though.”

Aishwariya Nair, 17.
“it is a personal decision. No one can force you into it. Today people sleep with someone they hardly know and you are still talking about pre-marital sex? It’s just fine.”

Anonymous , 18.
“It is not wrong unless and until you know you are doing it with the right person. Nobody should be judged over it. Our society doesn’t allow it but it’s not wrong. It is one of the ways to show your love. I guess I totally agree on the idea of premarital sex. Being careful and protection is important. It’s not a crime , it’s just making your partner feel special.”

Preena Palan , 17
“No , if you have sex with someone and then if that person leaves you and you get married to someone else, and you don’t tell him about your earlier companion that definitely means you are wrong.”

Niharika Shetty, 18
“Obviously yes. I can give you five reason,
1-Discouraging people from having sex has never, not once at any point in human history been successful.
2-Not everyone is sexually compatible. So figure that shit out before you walk down the aisle.
3-Sex feels great and is fun.
4-Premarital sex leads to more stable marriages.
5-Sex is healthy and natural.”

Akshay Joshi, 18.
“It’s a good thing cause we all have emotions and sex is something that you can’t avoid. Even a simple kiss is not avoidable when you love someone. Virginity is not a treasure which is to be safe guarded. If you marry someone you don’t know, and you have to have sex with a stranger then its better to have sex with someone you know and care about.”

Nihar, 19.
“It’s a taboo in our culture, but there is nothing wrong in it. Sex is perfectly natural. God made us like this. If you feel it’s time to take your relationship to the next level , there is nothing wrong. All it requires is mutual consent and not marriage to have sex, no one has the right to stop you.

Without being judgmental, am in great awe at how honest and uncanny they are bout their opinion. Right or wrong it is not my prerogative. Its for them to decide. 

Can hardly wait, that’s the situation of the entire generation. Waiting for anything is so last season. It’s hard to imagine that the coming generation would like to indulge in chastity. Let’s just hope they make better choices. 

We cant negate the fact that the west is rubbing off on them. 
As a mom this has me worried for sure.

This topic was inspired by Poonaam Uppal's True Love - A Mystical True Love, I’ve read some really good reviews about this one and I quote:
“Heart Rendering Narrative of True Love
As I read the bold and eventful narration I am propelled into a World of true love. The biography in simple words details the most warm yet a period full of angst and fervor.” 
Lets hope this one serves as a beacon of light for our lost generation.


Ankita Bhatia Dhawan said...

Wow.... am amazed by the teenager's responses....!

Disha Kotak said...

I was too.. at first i was skeptical that they might not agree but they were just unabashed about their opinion.

Uttpal K said...

You are a true market researcher.. :)

Disha Kotak said...

The small sample is just a representation of the entire generation. Not driving any conclusion, just reflecting their thoughts cause this topic is truely about the decisions made in that age.

Dr. Ajeet.R said...

It’s scary to hear such an nonchalant attitude of the gen-nx about the issue. Truly said, that the west is making and impression on them. Not to sound sadist but there is a reason rules are made. Grim hope if that’s how the entire generation plans to swing.
The book that you mentioned in the post, is it related to the subject?

Disha Kotak said...

See that’s the problem with our reasoning. Why tie them down with rules. The minute you would want to contain them, they would want to break free. Instead sit them down and discuss and reason. Abstain for your soul and not Society. Remember that!

Pendown M Talks Here said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pendown M Talks Here said...

I loved it when you said 'Abstain for your Soul, not Society'.
Some things need to be done for ourselves and not because others want it..but the answers of the present gen are way scary... the generation is taking premarital sex too casually..

Disha Kotak said...

Thanks Manjulika,
Its true, things done for others never really bring you any happiness, you always end up with conflict within your self. As for the next generation, well it's inevitable. All we can do is hope...

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