Hope, never let it go…

Pregnancy and motherhood are the most beautiful and significantly life-altering events that a woman can experience. It’s funny how one little being can change the dynamics of your life. I no longer look forward to the weekends. At times, my husband has to remind me what day it is. Hours in the mall are spent ogling at all the pretty things in the baby section. I can’t remember the last movie I saw, or the last time I had a good night’s sleep. But I have no regrets…

Being a mom, it’s all that I’ve ever wanted. But this gift didn’t come easy. I’ve had to move mountains, just to be able to hold you. At my 4-months check up, you had the doctors worried. You were way too eager to arrive early. They put me on a 5months lock down. So much for all the pregnancy yoga and the pre-natal classes that I signed up for.

My entire time on the bed-rest, not once had I complained. How could I? I couldn’t give up on the hope to see you in my arms, all hale and hearty. All this time all I did was just stare at the ceiling and picture our time together.

Have I told you that your dad is a super hero? For the four months that I was in the hospital with you in my belly, he made sure he never left our side. After work every day, without fail, he would come rushing to the hospital to check up on us. It made me happy, that he was a part of our journey. That got us more closer than ever. I’ve had a difficult pregnancy, but you have been totally worth it.

Today you are all of Four. You just got back from the school. You gave me a choking hug. Your chatter went on and on about your day at school. Am fixing you up a sandwich, while you are busy goofing on the kitchen stool. One look at you and I accidentally cut myself. The cut isn’t that deep but your eyes well up. You run to my aid, grab a kitchen towel and look at me all worried. I assure you, it’s nothing really. But you still don’t stop making a big deal out of it. In your eyes I could see that you share my pain.

That day my heart aced. It aced caused it was full of love. Love so abundant that there was no room for anything else. That day when you held me tight, I was thankful. I was thankful that I never gave up on you. If I had, I would have never met you… Sure the doctors kept the drip going, but in all my heart I know that it was a Mothers hope that helped you hold on tight. Am glad I didn’t give up, cause you give my life purpose.

This post has been inspired by the #LookUp initiative by https://housing.com/lookup .

Dad, because of you, I can.

What a beautiful TVC. It made me well-up. The best advertisements are those that strike an emotional connect with the viewer and this one surely hits the spot. After watching this commercial, I had a strong urge to call my dad and tell him that I love him. Just as I was about to gather myself, my 4 yr old munchkin came running into my lap and told me, I love you Mum.  It’s my time to turn into a pillar. My father was mine, and I need to be one for my son. I know I’ll do just fine after all, I’ve learnt from the best.

Growing up,

It’s never really easy on anyone. But it was more tough on me, as I was the new girl. The girl that had just moved to Mumbai. I left behind my entire universe in Ahmedabad. I didn’t way to, but I didn’t complain as I knew how hard it was on my parents and I didn’t want to add to their grief.

New beginnings...

A new house, with lots of toys and no one to play with. All I did was look out of my window with a hope that they would invite me to play with them. It was hard to fit in. A new school. I remember for a week I ate lunch by myself. I was just 12 back them. Every day they would out cast me, all I wanted to do is be friends.  

Everyday just before I got home, I made sure to wipe those tears and put on a brave face. I didn’t want them to know that I did not like it here. Every night at diner Dad would ask me if everything was ok. I would just nod. Sometimes it got too hard to hold back and I would dash to my room so that I didn’t break down before them. The move was hard on them too and the last thing they needed to know is that their daughter was in such despair.

That Sunday.

Dad had planned a special day, just for the two of us. We drove around town, rode a horse cart and had some as amazing local cuisine. I never wanted this day to end. At dusk we sat down looking at the sea, as the sun went down. He placed his hand on my head and told me that I’ve been a brave girl, and that he is proud of me.

I wondered what gave it away. He sensed my puzzle and told me that knows exactly how I feel inside. All I can remember after that is, how I broke down like a child. I was a child. He snuggled me tight and told me that no matter how tough things get, in the end they are bound to get better. That’s just the way how things roll.  Along the way if you give up, you may never the see the finish line and the encore that follows. To triumph the most important thing is to stay put.

That day am not sure if I even understood the gravity of this advice. But looking back at all that I have achieved along the way. I owe it all to the little talk we had that day. He could have helped me out, he could have made things easier for me, but he took a step back and gave me space so that I could make my own mistakes, so that I could grow.

Love you Dad.

This post was inspired by the #MyFamilyMyPride ad film by http://www.hdfclife.com/.