“There is no illusion
greater than fear.”
My throat was dry. Having
gulped down half a bottle of water had not really helped. Beads of sweat were
trickling down my spine. I shook like a leaf . Just two more minutes
and I will be ripped naked. My truth will be out in
the world for others to see.
Just when I was zoned
out I head the teacher call out, “Disha, continue where Priya left off.” I stood
up, my eyes welled up . I could barely make sense of the French Revolution. Spurted out a word or two, before my eyes couldn’t contain my tears, I
could hear a faint giggle behind my back. As though it was contagious it just
kept getting louder. I felt a knot in my stomach and I ran out of the room and hurled
my guts out.
I was barely 12 then. But
the entire episode is so well imprinted in my mind that I could still feel the
tension in my shoulders, as I narrate it today. The
fear of speaking in public, one of the most common fears of all. It haunted me
for a good part of my schooling life. What made it worse was that my friends
thought I was a looser and my teachers were these frustrated bunch of women who
in the class of 84 clearly didn’t have the time or the inclination to help me
out.
Fear-1, Me -0.
There were times when I
knew the answers, sometimes better than others, but I just couldn’t find the strength
to raise my hand. They wrote me off and I kind of got comfortable with that. But
as change is the only constant, I graduated to high school and things were about to get better.
By the time I was 15, I
had read more books than I had friends. One of the series that really helped me were The Chicken Soup books. They made me realize that am not the only one out
here. Everyone is afraid of something. It’s just the matter of power. I decide
who holds the reign in my life. Weather I give my fear the power to consume me,
or I gather up the courage to meet it head on and knock the daylight out
of it.
Since I was starting college, I didn’t want to be “that girl”, the girl who froze. What helped is that these people came in with a clean slate. They had no preconceived notions about me. So whatever they make of me was in my hands. First day of college, I had a point to prove. Not to them, but to myself. Nothing had changed, the knots came back, but this time it was just Me vs. Fear.
I decided I wanted to raise above my fear,
I’d give it my best
shot. Either I could end up making a mockery of myself and hit Déjà vu , or I could kill it by having myself heard. There was only one way of
finding out, by taking the plunge.I took center stage. Took
a good look around, put on a big smile and I spoke. Can’t remember what exactly, but all I could remember was an encore that followed.
Me -1, Fear -0.
I made more friends in college than I did in my school. I had teachers who adored me. I was hated by few, cause they wanted to be me. If I had to tell them that I was once a girl that froze, they would probably never believe me.
We all have fears. It’s up to you, if you chose to give it power or decide to overpower it. It’s OKAY to be scared. Being scared means you’re about to do something really, really brave.
Me -1, Fear -0.
I made more friends in college than I did in my school. I had teachers who adored me. I was hated by few, cause they wanted to be me. If I had to tell them that I was once a girl that froze, they would probably never believe me.
We all have fears. It’s up to you, if you chose to give it power or decide to overpower it. It’s OKAY to be scared. Being scared means you’re about to do something really, really brave.
Head on over to Mountain Dews FaceBook page
if you are looking for inspiration to get over yours.
The above post was inspired but the new Mountain Dew campaign:
The above post was inspired but the new Mountain Dew campaign:
